There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss my grandfather. We called him Dee Dee. He lived to the ripe old age of 89 and that's with smoking at least a pack of cigarrettes a day. Dee Dee was married to my grandmother, Mee Maw, for 57 years. I never saw them argue, ever. They were good, humble Christian folk. My grandmother had gone to Radford University and was a school teacher in a one room schoolhouse for many years before having her four children: Mary Lee, Howard, Gayle, and Betsy,who is my mom. Dee Dee was born and raised a farmer in Tenessee and then moved to Virginia, met my grandmother, fell in love, and the rest is history.
Of fourteen grandchildren, there were only 3 girls. I was obviously his favorite, at least in my own head. I spent more time with him than any of the other kids. I tagged along beside him as he tended to the family farm and helped him to collect chicken eggs. By the time I came along, he had given up raising livestock, but he tended to his crops. My favorite thing to do with Dee Dee was to help him tend to his hunting dogs. He had pen after pen filled with beagles and hound dogs. He woud have a litter or two every summer, and I'd get to snuggle with those little puppies. Every year, I'd fall in love with one particular puppy and beg my parents to let me bring him home wth me to the bay, which was 5 hours away. Every year, my parents would say no. I would stay with Dee Dee and MeeMaw several times a year, and summer was always my favorite. MeeMaw would cook up a storm, all organic., home-grown goodness. She'd tend to the house mostly, and always had every meal on the table for Dee Dee when he came in from working on the farm.
Dee Dee would ask me questions about my life- you know, like he was really interested. His lips would curve into a smile when I talked to him, and his baby eyes would twinkle like Santa Claus. He was a snazzy dresser I always thought. He wore Timberland boots and work clothes and owned many, many nice flannel shirts and corduroys :) He just had this very relaxed aura about him, and he was so comfortable to be around. He was average height with a very slim build, and I thought he was the most handsome, kindest man in the world. He never raised his voice at me; he never laid a finger at me; he never made me feel stupid in any way. Just loved.
The really cool thing about my Dee Dee is that although he had no degree in veterinary medicine, he WAS the town vet. People literally drove from miles around to bring him their sick animals. I don't know if it was from years of experience or instinct, or the connection he had with animals-or all of the above- but I watched him save the life of many animals, as well as vaccinate and de-worm them. He kept horses for pets. He had shown horses for many years in the past, before my time. He and my mother also shared a special bond, much like the one that I had with him. She was his little horseback rider, and she won all sorts of blue ribbons with her skills.
Every time I visited, Dee Dee would drive me and whatever cousins(s) were visiting to a restaurant called Swanee's. It was just a little diner on the side of the road, but to us kids, it was a special, magical place. I have 14 cousins, as I said, and we are all like little stairsteps in age. I am one of the younger cousins in the bunch. I mostly hung out with my cousins Matt and Josh, who were brothers, and Robyn, the devious one. Swanee's was my DeeDee's hangout, where he'd go to smoke cigs, drink coffee with extremely too much sugar, and talk to his "boys" (other local farmers). He'd show us off to his friends and we'd be "so cute" and "getting so big" each time. The waitresses just loved us and let us help ourselves to the giant jars filled with candy... oh, what kind of candy was that....
Dee Dee was a terrible driver, I remember that well. He'd run off the side of the road in his black Chevy pickup truck in a heart beat. I remember one day my baby cousin Josh had bought a pinwheel at the store while we were out one day. Dee Dee was blowing on the pinwheel and not paying a bit of attention to the road, and ran us right off the road. Luckily, it was in his own driveway. His driving only got worse with age. I never heard about him getfing into any car accidents, but I worried. As he got older, he was so deaf his hearing aide would whistle and he couldn't even hear it. The TV would be 1000 decibals too loud. How could he possibly hear normal traffic sounds? As soon as I turned 16, I drove Dee Dee around.
Dee Dee was simple. Not in a bad way. I just mean he wasn't complicated. He was a nature lover and just loved his life outdoors. He would only come in to eat, sleep, or watch TV in his recliner... which resulted in snoring every time. It is because of him that I developed a love for the outdoors and take the greatest pleasure from the simplest things: sunsets, rainbows, trees, butterflies...
My grandmother had ongoing heart issues for most of her adult life, and had open heart surgery at least twice that I can remember. She also developed dementia in her later years, and this was a very sad development for our family, although a slow one, so at least we got more time wih her. My Dee Dee took care of her the best that he could, until he himself was diagnosed with cancer. His love and devotion to her left a permanent imprint in my mind of how a husband should love a wife. They were my best role models, as my own parents divorced when I was 12 and my father brushed us all to the side and started a new family with his mistress.
My time with Dee Dee more than made up for what I lost. I just needed that ucomplicated, peaceful, unconditional love. Cancer claimed his life nearly 10 years ago when I was 24 years old. I took the news very hard, even though I knew he wasy dying and that he'd lived a full life for 89 years. I had a difficult time letting go. I still grieve for my best friend. The only love I have felt since then that compares to his is the love of my Heavenly Father. It is uncomplicated, peaceful, and unconditional. I embrace that love with everything I have and I thank God for giving me DeeDee in my life. I pray that I will have this sort of impact on my own children and grandchildren and great grandchildren :)
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