Sad :(

Lately, there has been an awful lot of drama in my life, and it's taken an emotional toll on me. I have always been a very introverted, quiet person, and I mostly stay to myself. A few months ago, someone started working with me at our church (I only work 1 night a week), and with her she brought a lot of drama. I thought she was super nice and I enjoyed working with her. Then, slowly, I started noticing that she was becoming closely intertwined into the lives of my coworkers at church. People there were having personal issues, as people do, and it just seemed as though she was very wrapped up into everyone else's lives. She appeared to be trying to help them in their different situations, yet she shared a lot of personal information about these people with me (and who knows who else). I kept quiet about it for a long time. Then, about a month ago, she let something very personal slip out about a coworker's child. This particular coworker was gesturing a finger gun to her head that night and was visibly upset. I approached said coworker after work hours to see if she was ok. We have been friends for 4 years now, after all. In doing so, I created a bit of a mess, because the coworker got upset with the person who told the "secret". I didn't realize it was a "secret" because she shared it with me and two other people who were in the room at that time. I honestly thought it was common knowledge at that point. Apparently the coworker got mad at the blabber, and told her off. I received a message from the one who blabbed, saying she thought she could trust me and talk to me safely. I apologized about 3x (via text message through a game we were playing), but she deleted me from the game and then from Facebook. That hurt me. I became angry and stayed upset for about 2 days. I talked with my coworker (the one whose son was talked about) and she said she was ok and to let the whole thing go. So I tried. 
Then I started thinking.... a lot... about all the things this person had shared with me about the coworker, and it upset me because I had been in the middle of this awkward situation for months and months. The person had been acting like the coworker's friend but blabbing all kinds of confidential information about the coworker's life to us. I became angry, and with some pushing from the coworker, I did reveal some of the things that the woman said about her. MY BAD. Well, since then, the coworker and I have been friends, and the person has not been back in the nursery working with us anymore. However, they've remained friends as well, and I'm cool with that. 

FRIDAY night, I took said coworker to a women's retreat held by my church. I sat next to another friend there who immediately got up in my face about the whole situation. I am guessing the Blabber must have told her this information. I was so upset, because all of this had happened over a month ago, and I'd really tried to let it go. I just wanted to go to this retreat and have a good time, and I brought said coworker there to have a nice time and thought it might influence her in a positive way. The in-my-face-friend basically accused me of being the problem, and said that as a Christian I should have confronted the Blabber and made peace with her. I explained that I tried to do that at first by apologizing 3 times, even though I did nothing wrong...This friend told me that Blabber had been talking about me and this friend remained up in my face, and made me feel really uncomfortable. no matter how much I tried to back away. What I really wanted to say is, it's none of your business, and get out of my face. Sidenote- the in my face friend happens to be a HUGE gossip, and no one really likes her for that reason. I just tend to root for the underdog and embrace the ppl no one else likes. l.ol. Maybe I need to stop doing that. I told her it had been dealt with and to let it go.

Today, I got a call from the staff at church wanting to bring me into a meeting with the Blabber and her husband (who I've never met before in my life; whats' that about?) I told her I would meet with the Blabber but that I didn't feel it was necessary to meet with her husband because he was not involved in any way; that would be like me bringing MY husband into this. I really feel this woman thrives on drama, and wants to involve as many people as possible. Apparently the Blabber now says that I have breached confidentiality within the church because my coworker was her family's "outreach project" (apparently so are all the other coworkers) and she is upset that I went back and told her all the nasty things she said about her. So why did she act like a friend to this girl's face, then talk smack about her behind her back & tell us all that she was being intimidated by her? I'm very confused.

So, my husband came home, and I told him the latest... that I have a lynching scheduled tomorrow with our 2 childrens church staff and with Blabber and her husband. He said, "I wouldn't do it", which is the same thing my friend Susan said to me. I contacted the staff member who called me, and I said, "My husband doesn't want me to do this", and she said, "That's fine, we can cancel the meeting if you want, but I encourage you to resolve this now". I am really unsure what to do. I can't deny that I did get angry and shared with my coworker what the Blabber said, but that was after Blabber didn't accept my apology and deleted me from facebook. I don't know why I was so hurt by that, but I was! So, I need to let her know what I'm going to do by tonight... Should I meet with them and say my peace? I'll admit that I made a mistake by getting angry and sharing the other things that Blabber said, but that I didn't realize my coworker (aka my friend) was her personal "outreach project". I never got the whole picture on that. I just thought she was a new lady stirring up some drama. 

I'm sure that was really hard to follow! Characters for this story are 1. Blabber-new lady that started working with us about 6 months ago, 2. Coworker- a girl I've worked with for 4 years now and never had a problem with until Blabber came into the picture, and 3. In-my-face-friend- I've been friends w/ her for several years now but she's got a reputation for being a gossip and no one likes her. She has ticked me off in the past, I confronted her about it, and we made up and moved on. She has "no couth" as people say.
As a Christian, I feel as though I did the right thing in the beginning by apologizing. But I know I didn't do the right thing acting out of anger and discussing the other things that were shared. I have different positions on this. First, the coworker is my friend, and I usually do tell my friends when ppl are saying unkind things about them. Second, I'm a counselor for a living- Coworker came to me for help and advice, and much of the info shared came out in a conversation between us in which she assured me she wouldn't blab to blabber. But she got angry and cussed Blabber out. Third, Blabber has never shared with me what her relationship was with my coworker. Had someone filled me in that she was trying to do an outreach, I might've better understood. I was never let in on what was going on. I thought she was being a friend to her face, but talking about her behind her back.

I am so unsure as to what to do and I've been praying about it. God knows my heart, and that I would not hurt anyone purposely. Any suggestions are welcome. 

P90X, Week 10, Day 4

I feel like I'm finally starting to get back on track with my dieting and exercise. I had a rough time adjusting from spring break and then the week following. This week, I'm off to a good start. Today's workout was Yoga X. While I normally dread Yoga X because it takes up 90 minutes of my day, I actually really enjoyed it tonight. My body was a little sore from Plyometrics last night; a little, not a lot, but the stretching really helped. I haven't done Yoga X in a while, especially not with full focus and energy. It left me feeling pretty great. My husband sat and watched me do most of it, which was a little awkward, but he was also on his laptop, and so I just pretended he wasn't there. He's been interested in trying Yoga, too, for his back problems. 


Now that I am back on track, I feel better. I want to stay on track for the next 2 weeks and 3 days. I also want to decide on my next exercise program. I will want to start another program right away to continue the progress I have already made. I might keep some of the P90X workouts in my program, such as Plyometrics and Kenpo X. However, I might search for a shorter (60 minute) yoga DVD. I think what I really need to focus on when I finish P90X is cardio so that I can lose the rest of this hard to reach flab. 


Tomorrow morning is my Step Aerobic class, and I'm excited about that. It's such a fun way to burn up a whole bunch of calories. 


I see that no one reads these blogs, but if anyone ever does, see you tomorrow ;)

P90X, Week TEN, Days 1, 2, & 3 !!!

Wow, I have been really bad about blogging! I just finished doing Plyometrics and Ab Ripper X. Plyometrics wasn't as hard for me this time around, because I did not combine it with Brazil Butt Lift. I learned my lesson the last time. Yesterday I did Kenpo Karate and took a long walk. The day before that was Rest and Stretch, and I opted to rest. I have gone wayyyyyyy over my calories this weekend. I've been faced with a lot of temptations. Obviously, I have given into those temptations or else I wouldn't have consumed so many calories :0 I have not been very proud of myself for this week or last week. I am looking into things to do following P90X, and a friend told me about Kettlebell training, which burns 1200 calories per hour! I am going to Target now and will price them.

One tidbit of good news.... I went shopping yesterday and bought around $100 in clothes... EVERYTHING was a size small! The dress I bought is a small, and it's almost too big~ I also got a black bikini, and a top and skirt (which I'm wearing to work tomorow). Though I still have a lot more work to do to get rid of this last bit of fat on my body, I am estatic to be fitting into small clothes and it makes shopping so much more fun!!!

P90X, Week 9, Day 7

REST & STRETCH DAY!!!!

P90X, Week 9, Day 6

Today's workout was Yoga X, which is 90 full minutes of yoga. It felt good to stretch out my sore muscles, though I have to admit that 90 minutes is a VERY long time, and time is very precious to me. In addition, I did another Ab Ripper X. I'm still working on the little pooch area on my belly. It doesn't seem to be going anywhere :( My legs were sore today, but probably not nearly as sore as they would have been had I not had a massage last night. I'm feeling very relaxed-exhausted actually- and need to get to bed. Good night!

P90X, Week 9, Day 5

Whoa. Burned a ton of calories today and am INCREDIBLY sore from yesterday's workout... sore in allll the right places! I still went to step aerobics, and I burned around 600 calories there. I walked the dog on my lunch break for 50 minutes and burned about 200 calories there. Then I came home after work and did the P90X Shoulders and Arms DVD. I just finished that up, and that burned around (I'm guessing) 185 calories. So, that's not a bad burn for today. However, I'm still so incredibly sore that I'm taking my friend up on an offer for a free massage. She is in massage therapy school. It is my leg muscles and my glutes, though I wouldn't ask anyone for a butt massage. Just quadriceps and hamstrings, and actually she said she'd do a "full body recovery massage", so that sounds good to me! I'm going to go eat my dinner and get a shower so I can go have a nice, relaxing massage!

Make Up Day :)

Well, today is a new day, and I'm using it to get caught up on my exercise. I will not give today a number, simply because I don't have to :P Tomorrow I will proceed with Day 5 of Week 9. I just finished doing Brazilian Butt Lift (Bum Bum), which kicked my BUTT, pun intended. I had to stop and rest quite often. It's very fast paced. Now I am debating on whether I should do Ab Ripper X next or do my Cardio workout. I plan to do both. I think I'll do Ab Ripper X first and get that one out of the way, because my hubby and kids will be home soon. I'll do Cardio X when the hubby leaves to go to the gym. Sorry, I'm thinking out loud here. I will post later.


...Later... Just finished Ab Ripper X.... 16 minutes of excruciating pain. LOL. But WELL worth it. My abs have improved so much with P90X.


I am trying to psych myself up for 1 more workout tonight... Thought about doing Plyo earlier, which I've never done while doing the Lean Version of P90X, but I heard that it is the best one of all. It involves a lot of jumping. I put it in earlier right after I ate dinner, and then Tony Horton said, "Don't eat for at least one hour prior to doing this workout", so that's when I cut it off and did Brazilian Butt Lift.


So once I'm done with my next workout, whatever that shall be, I'll post about it here. See you soon.

...Later, again... I just completed half of the Plyometrics DVD. I would  have finished it, but it is now 9:49 at night and I've been working out since about 7 PM. I need a break! I also have my high impact step aerobics class in the morning, so I don't want to overdo it. I probably just burned close to 400 calories doing Plyo, plus another 300 with Ab Ripper X, and 300 with Brazilian Butt Lift. Those are guestimates, but 1000 calories sounds about reasonable for the energy I just exerted, not to mention the sweat!
I'll sleep good tonight. See ya tomorrow.