Elohim

"Used 2,500 times in the Old Testament, the name Elohim reveals the mighty strength of God. El is the Hebrew word for "strength", while alah or oah means "faithfulness". God's faithfulness begins afresh each day (Lamentations 3:23). God is always fresh, never stale. We can depend on it!

The Bible is not a scientific textbook, but a book about faith. It does not tell us how the heavens go, but how to go to heaven. It also tells us who makes the heavens go and who upholds them "by the mighty power of his command" (Hebrews 1:3).

Elohim meets us in Genesis. In the beginning of days and nights, flowers and trees, fish and mammals, he tells us his name that is he is the Creator of all. God is strong enough to make myriad universes and faithful enough to keep them all spinning safely at the right speed.

And what does this mean to me? It gives me confidence. It tells me that if God made the world, he can make my world spin around with a little more order than I've managed to create in it! It gives me something-Someone- on whom I can depend.If God is perfect faithfulness, renewing his pledge to me morning by morning,I can go to sleep in peace evening by evening. Elohim can be known; Elohim can be trusted; Elohim is here!"

-written by Jill Brescoe, January 1 excerpt from The One Year Devotions for Women.

So, as I mentioned in my previous post, I was wanting to find a book of devotions to do for the year 2013. I happened to find one sitting in my very own bookcase, unopened and unused. I believe it was given to me mid-year one year and I held on to it, but forgot that I had it. My resolution this year is to spend more time in God's word,and I think these daily devotions will help me to reflect on things in a new and positive way. After reading this particular devotion, I'm reminded that God is in control of everything. It reminds me that I CAN depend on him, when humans fail me. I've been failed far too many times, and I've failed others-including myself-even more. But God can be trusted to take care of me morning by morning. That is a very comforting thought.

Welcoming 2013

Happy New Year! It's only noon on New Year's Eve, and I've been off from work for two weeks now hanging out with the kiddos on their Christmas break. It has been lovely, but I must prepare to go back on Wednesday. As I reflect on 2012, I have to say it was a really good year for my little family. It was the year I lost 46 pounds, after all :). I also managed to get my husband to take Crown Financial with me. My son blossomed in school, and my daughter found her sport (soccer). Despite all of the economic hardships going on all over the country, our family has (by the grace of God) managed to stay afloat and Corey and I have been blessed enough to keep our jobs. 

For 2013, my only resolution is to make my life more about HIM and less about me. As I began to lose weight, I grew in confidence, and I'd even go as far to say that I grew in selfishness. I became more concerned with the flesh than with the eternal. My hope is to return my focus to HIM but to maintain my physical accomplishments through working out and eating healthy. With that goal in mind, it would mean more time spent in God's word, more time passionately praying, more time spent teaching and talking to my children about God, more time at church, and less time engaging in distracting things like FACEBOOK :-P. I  am considering starting a devotional and keeping a blog to keep me in check throughout the year. The other thing  I'd like to work on is to explore my creative side again. I know it's in there; I used to be quite the artist, but my wonderfully chaotic life and career have smothered it into unconsciousness. 

My resolutions for my children are that they will keep their rooms clean and spend more time reading. I'm allowed to set resolutions for them, too, right? Well, those would be my suggestions to them. 

Anyone have fun plans for New Years? We're staying in, for the umpteenth year in a row, and my children have invited others over to spend the night and ring in the new year with us. My how times have changed since our college days :-P

New Testimony to Share :)

It's been awhile since I blogged! I've been maintaining my weight loss, and I've moved on to accomplishing other life goals. My husband and I started taking a course together back in September called Crown Financial Ministries. It is through our church. For those of you who are not familiar with Crown Financial, it is a bible-based course about handling your finances God's way. Going into the course, I already knew quite a bit about God's plan for our finances, because I read a book some years ago which was actually called 'God's Plan For Your Finances'. However, my practical application of God's plans for my finances had basically gone down the toilet. Though I've always been good with money (my father is a stock-broker, who always instilled the "pay yourself first" motto), I entered into a marriage with a shopaholic. After 12 years of marriage, I grew tired of butting heads and I think we've both kind of met somewhere in the middle with our attitudes about money. I went from being a complete tightwad to living this free-spirit, willy-nilly kind of lifestyle and very little regard to money. Since my husband and I both work, we check our balance frequently and it seems that there is always money there. We got into a really bad habit of spending it, though, before paying the bills :-0. Now I'm not a big spender, but I do buy my children whatever they need. And sometimes they 'need' things all at once, such as soccer dues (x2), uniforms, dance dues, lunch money, haircuts (x2), ... the list goes on and on, but you catch my drift. And another priority in our home is always groceries. I will say that I do and have always shopped at WalMart for groceries to save money, and I still believe that this is the most effective. I buy mostly WalMart brand products, which I find is cheaper than going to Kroger or Food Lion and using coupons. But our bills always came last. And when it was bill-time, we would get stuck picking and choosing (juggling) which ones to pay. We grew tired of living that way, because it was very stressful.
 
So... we made the decision to enter into this committment of taking the class together. I will admit that, at first, it was a bit of a pain... you know, ANOTHER thing we have to do during the week, another thing to add to our already over-loaded schedule.... And the homework for the class is no joke. You have to read the Bible, answer questions, and memorize Scripture. Most of the information started to come back to me as I began to do the work. What I had forgotten over the course of the past few years is that 100% of everything I have is GOD's and not mine. It's his money, and I am supposed to be a good steward of HIS money. Well, that was tough one to swallow, even though I'd heard it before, I'm not going to lie. I am also being very honest when I say that I've struggled with tithing throughout the years. I've done it inconsistently in the last year, even though I've experienced huge blessings from doing it consistently in the past. It's like that line in that Christian song, "I throw a 20 in the plate, but never give til it hurts" (Matthew West). After completing the lesson on tithing and giving, I felt really convicted to start tithing consistently again. As I said, I've done this in the past, and it was a real source of tension between my husband and I at the time. He has come a long way spiritually since then. So, with his blessing, I woke up that Monday morning (payday) and immediately got a money order for 10% of my income. My reason for getting a money order was so that I did not spend it and was not able to tear it up. I also wrote the name of the church on it so that I would not be able to cash it. I stuck it on our refrigerator for my husband and I to see and to pray about it.

Now I have to admit, I was not a happy camper. God says to give cheerfully, not begrudgingly. But I just kept looking at that money order, thinking, "that's grocery money", or "that would have paid such-n-such bill". I began to worry over it, which God says not to do. He wants us to trust Him. And to test Him. After taking that money out and setting it aside, I paid our bills like a responsible adult. The wee hours of the next morning, I was awakened by a bone-chilling nightmare about Satan. It was so real, and quite disturbing. As a matter of fact, it stuck with me for the entire day. The next day, we only had $66 left in our account. This was TWO days after I got paid! NOT COOL! I was used to having much more money (but what I didn't realize is that I was also used to not having the bills paid, either). That night, I went to my Crown Financial class and shared with my fellow classmates what I had done and how worried I was feeling. I told them about my nightmare, and they confirmed what I already thought; Satan was trying to attack me, because I was trying to obey the Lord. A classmate encouraged me to just Trust and Test the Lord, and that's what I decided to do. I figured, at least the bills are paid. We DO have money in savings, if I need to transfer that over to cover the low balance...

The following day, I had an appointment with one of my mentally ill clients. She happens to be bipolar and by far my most difficult client. I prayed in the car on the way to her house for God to give me the words and the wisdom to reach her that day. It ended up being one of the best sessions we have ever had. And i was able to reach my client with the gospel. I feel that that was God's blessing to me for being obedient to Him. This was Thursday, and we only had $46 left in our account. We had ourselves on a complete spending FREEZE. But I trusted God, and I also knew that my husband was getting paid the very next day, and we were going to be OK!

Now for the big praise report... Friday morning, I woke up and immediately checked our bank balance. I wanted to be SURE my husband's paycheck was in there! Imagine my surprise when I saw that there was nearly $6,000 in our checking account. Ok, so we went from $46 to $6,000 overnight?!?! I believe I started shaking, crying, and praising God so fast and hard some might say I was speaking in tongues . Not only had my husband gotten paid, he had also received a huge bonus. God knew that he needed to act, and fast... and that is exactly what He did. What is even more amazing is that my husband immediately agreed with me that this was an act of God and that we needed to tithe 10% of what He had provided for us.

My purpose of this story is not to be boastful or bragging, but to share that if you are faithful to the Lord, then He will be faithful to you. We put the bonus money into our savings account to help us pay for some major house repairs, nothing to be jealous of. We are just so thankful for the Lord's provision and His perfect timing. We continue to live paycheck to paycheck like most of the country. But I will tell you one thing, we will be tithing from now on, not to just receive blessings, but to give God a fraction of what is 100% His anyway, and to prove our faithfulness to Him. God is so good...

Super Excited!

I'm on my way to the gym, but just wanted to comment quickly that I found a box FULL of "skinny" clothes in my attic that I'd forgotten about (because it's been so long since I could wear any of them)! It was really exciting to go through them, because they're all super cute surf brands and I'm just so happy to have clothes that fit! THANK YOU, previously skinny self! That is all ;) 

122 pounds and STILL losing :)

Yes, I can disclose my weight now because I'm proud to be 122 pounds. I've never told my weight to anyone (other than my doctor, and against my will) I've lost 46 lbs, so you do the math. Let me just say, I'm enjoying this new, thinner me. I am now comfortable in a bikini and I wear them to the pool all the time! I've got a couple 'skinny' pics to post so you can see the results. I only wanted to get down to 125 lbs, but I'm still losing... I have a little flab here and there that I'd like to eliminate, so I guess I'll keep at it. Who knows, maybe I'll get down to 115...

 

40 lbs lost!

Hello all, the previous post, which I posted last night, was actually a draft from last week which wouldn't post for some odd reason. So it's now a week later, and I have to tell you... I am officially FORTY pounds lighter now than I was in January. I am only 4 lbs away from my ultimate goal, and honestly, I think I could stand to lose another 10 lbs. I now own 4 bikinis. Remember, I said I wanted my biggest problem to be, "What color bikini should I wear today?" I now own the hot pink one, a black one, a green and white polka dotted one, and  a reddish orange one with beading. Two of those are from many years ago; good thing I held onto them, huh?

I still struggle with self confidence while wearing them, though. It is like when obese ppl lose a bunch of weight and they still feel fat. I feel that way, not that I was ever really obese. I just struggle to feel comfortable in my new body. I think it's because I only see the 'trouble areas' and can't wrap my head around how much better I look than I used to. I need to think more positively. I'm also a very modest person, so I'm not one to strut around in a skimpy bikini. I sit in my chair at the pool as lonnnnnnnnnnnnng as I can stand it, and then I get up and jump in the water. Now that I've gotten a base tan and have had the bikini on a few times, I'm starting to feel a little more comfortable with the whole thing. It's just new. But exciting!

I worked out this morning- did my step aerobics class, and I'm about to go do some P90X Shoulders and Arms. One of my faves, because it's not too hard, but it really makes your arms look great! Also going to do Ab Ripper X, another one of my faves, because it's so short but so effective. Hope everyone else is doing well and enjoying their summer so far!

Skinny :)

Hello World! I have not had any time lately whatsoever to blog. I never posted about the final days of P90X, but I finished it up, and I've been enjoying my new body a LOT. I wore a bikini to the pool for the first time in 5 years... what a great feeling. Now i'm just trying to maintain my weight loss and I only have 5 lbs to go to get to the ultimate goal. 

Life has been extremely busy, like to the point that I can't catch my breath. Work is ever changing and I've been given a new case as well as a lot more paperwork to do. On top of that we had family visitors, my daughter's dance recital, and we adopted a new dog. Yes, I went for it! She is wonderfully sweet :) I am so worn out and ready for all the extracurricular activities to end so I can start to relax a little. I was literally grocery shopping in WalMart last night at 10:00 PM because it was the only time I had to do it. I had to shop for nearly 2 weeks worth of groceries, and we were out of EVERYTHING because I hadn't had time to go in so long. It was midnight by the time it was all said and done.

I don't remember life being this busy before, but I know it always has been. Well, maybe not quite this busy. 

This has been a nutty week. I've been working on arranging summer care for my children, something which is very important but very expensive. I am fortunate that I have a mother-in-law who lives right next door and only works part time. She watches them for free, and i just provide lunches and money for outings. I used to be able to be at home 2 days a week during the summer to take the kids to the pool, but my clientele and workload have both grown. Now I pay my friend Beth to keep them on those days, and her kids are my kids' best friends, so that works out great. I signed them up for VBS at our church and a week at an art day camp. They've been to both every year and love them. My work is also offering a summer camp which is pretty convenient because i can take them to work with me, have lunch with them, go on field trips with them, etc. Then there's my mom, who takes them for a couple different weeks each summer, to let them play and swim at Smith Mountain Lake. So, I guess I shouldn't be worried, because I seem to have a lot of different options. I shouldn't feel guilty, because they have a lot of fun. I do miss the days that I could stay at home with them. I did that while they were little and those days were precious, although financially difficult at times! I wish upon a star that I didn't have to be a working Mom, but that's just the way it is. It sucks to be smart sometimes. Stupid master's degree.

Hehe. Just kidding. I love my job, or at least I did love my job until very recently. I've been with the agency for a little over 3 years now, I just don't like change very much and kinda wish things would go back to the way they used to be when I worked 3 days a week as opposed to all the friggin time.

People just drain you, you know? Especially mentally ill people. And by that i don't necessarily mean the clients. Some of the agency staff are pretty mental, too. I hope they're not reading this. There are just a lot of different personalities and dynamics. The more I'm there, the more information I learn about others, and the less I want to know! I still mind my own business, do my job, and go home. Client work is actually my favorite. Today was a little rough, because my first appointment (new client) didn't want our time to end, or so it seemed. My second client was short and sweet. But then I had to take my third client to the doctor for a battery of tests because she's been very ill. COPD and a chain smoker-not good. That appointment ended up taking up hours of my time. Not that I mind, because she asks very little of me and gives a lot back in return, but it's just hard when you have a certain place to be at a certain time.

I know no one is reading this. It's just making me feel better to get my thoughts organized and out where I can see them. Things are a little jumbled up in my brain because there are so many different thoughts happening at the same time. 

Back to the topic of weight loss, I do feel awesome. I can tell that some of my muscle tone has faded, however, because I'm no longer doing the P90X workouts on a regular basis. I just haven't had much time for working out and so when i get to, I go to the gym and burn as many calories as I can that way. I'm doing great with my diet, and i think that's what is helping me to keep the weight down.

Good night world. I have to be up EARLY for another client visit, like super duper early, like I-never-get-up-this-early-for-anyone-but-I-will-for-you-this-once-since-you-are-a-new-client early!!!